Conversations {part 2}

Yesterday we got to meet Mrs. Beougher and hear where she came from. Today she shares her passions. 

Getting to Know Sharon Beougher

What would you say to women struggling in their marriage? To pray, then pray, and then pray some more. Marriage is hard because it is like a mirror that reflects your own sin. We can’t go into marriage thinking we will change the other person or that it will be easy. I like the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas that encourages us to choose “holiness” over “happiness” and let God do a sanctifying work in us THROUGH the struggles in marriage. I would also say to get counseling—it always helps to get an objective perspective.

What about women who are just “going with the flow,” their marriage isn’t bad or great? I don’t think we should go with the flow in anything. If we are not growing closer to someone we are growing further from someone as in our relationship with the Lord.

If we are not growing towards Him, we are growing away from Him. I would say, set some goals, re-evaluate your attitude, read some books, plan a couple nights a way, both of you pray about some things you could do to move forward and go out on a date with a ‘teachable’ spirit so you will not be defensive when you hear what the other says.

How about women looking for that special someone or engaged? That is a very real and very hard desire to have BUT we have to trust in God’s PERFECT timing and His PERFECT plan for our lives. I would say to first be asking God to prepare you to be the kind of godly helpmate for someone and to use this ‘waiting’ for God to draw you close to Him and keep developing your character. Pray for the person God may be preparing for you.

Don’t waste the time you have while you are single. I graduated from seminary single and then went to England for a year. If I had spent all that time just wishing for my husband, I would have wasted some valuable ministry time, rich experiences, and could have settled for less than God’s best.

It is not always easy to just “wait” but we need to believe with our whole heart that God is sovereign and we can rest in that. A verse that was meaningful for me before I met Tim was Isaiah 62:5: “As a bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so does the Lord rejoice over you.”

What encouragement do you have for wives and mothers struggling in this season of seminary with young children? Any practical tips? Remember that this is a season – and you don’t want this season to pass too quickly. I know that you don’t have a lot of time to yourself and that you don’t get much sleep (which is very HARD), but time really does fly and God has given you this time with your children.

Psychologists say that most of your child’s character is developed by age five, so be on your knees about your use of time while you have them at home. However, you do need some breaks – so I would make sure to talk to your husband about the need for some time away or for some sleep. If your husband is not able to provide the time due to jobs/school, then ask a friend—be vulnerable and tell a friend or someone at church that you are REALLY needing a break and that you need to get away by yourself for a few hours. Some practical tips are:

Have your children have a “quiet time” every afternoon whether they have outgrown a nap or not. This could mean nap time or a time where they have to play in their rooms or play on their beds for a while so you can have some quiet time.

Have a consistent discipline plan for misbehavior or disrespect; Tim and I used a wooden spoon as discipline for disobedience or disrespect. Then it did not take long for us just to have to pull out the spoon from the diaper bag or put the spoon on the dresser in their rooms to have the “visual” of a reminder of immediate discipline.

Always let them know it is the behavior you are not happy with, NOT them. Reinforce your love while disciplining them.

Enforce their bed time.

Don’t ever get in a habit of yelling at them.

Ask friends what has worked for them. Everyone has different things that work for them.

When feeling like you are going to “lose it” like Jill Briscoe said, “Take off your shoes and remember that you are on holy ground.” (as you are raising them to be like Jesus)

Where do you go to church and what do you love most about that body? Tim is bi-vocational pastor at West Broadway Baptist Church on Six Mile Lane (since February of this year). I LOVE the people there (a sweet group of mixed ages). We want to part of the rebuilding process for this church. It does not have much of a budget, it does not have the luxury of a power point screen, data projector, etc., it only has a part time pastor and part time music minister, and it has a big debt for the gymnasium… BUT it is so great for Tim and me to plant ourselves into a church close to our home and to be a team with him.

What’s your favorite thing to do or place to eat in Louisville? I love Chili’s and Havana Rumba in terms of restaurants. We don’t “do” a lot of things in Louisville, but I know our kids like to go to Waterfront Park or the zoo or other parks. I do like to swim laps if that counts as “doing” something.

What’s your heart for the women in the Southern community? I want every woman at Southern, whether a student, student wife, or employee at Southern, to KNOW that they are a daughter of the King, that God has a sovereign plan for each of them, and that their relationship with The Lord is THE most important thing in the world.

I would like them to bond with other ladies, to know that this is a special place to find life-long friends, to take advantage of whatever opportunities the seminary has to equip them for ministry (depending on their season of life!) and to treasure their time in Louisville.

I also want women to feel they can be vulnerable and admit that they are having struggles or dealing with loneliness and that women can go to each other and to the faculty/faculty wives for help.

If you could tell the women of Boyce and Southern one thing, what would it be? That it is a PRIVILEGE to be here at Southern/Boyce during these times with the leadership we have and to be called to ministry to the King of the Universe!

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